The life of a die-hard Nole fan

Today I'd like to talk a little bit about this phenomenon called being a die-hard and share my own personal experience as a die-hard Nole fan. In my third post (published two days ago) I told you how I it all started but for those of you who haven't read it or forgot I will repeat it...I first noticed No1e in the 2008 AO SF against Fed; I was so curious as to who's this talented and handsome young hero who managed to beat the invincible Fed in a slam in straight sets and I was also grateful to him since I hated seeing Fed win all the time (except against Rafa on clay). Anyway, I started following him after that and fell in love with both his game and his personality and the rest is history...

Well today I do want to talk about this "history". Since the end of 2002 and up until the beginning of 2008 I was just another casual tennis fan who watched only some slam matches and I even missed quite a few slams all together. I didn't even watch the 2007 USO final a.k.a Nole's first slam final and I still regret it. 

Anyway, in 2008 it started to change because of Nole who I took a liking to since that amazing AO SF win over king Fed. I started following tennis more closely and began to watch some masters 1000 events on ESPN. I didn't watch that much tough, only the latter stages (QF and onwards) but I got up at the middle of the night sometimes to watch him play (in Montreal for example), just like I got up for his USO and AO matches.

I was pretty hooked by the end of 2010 and I also followed Nole's results in the other small tournaments (ATP 250 and 500), that weren't broadcast on TV, via sports news websites. But then, I learned I could also watch these tournaments via live-streams and so the cycle has been complicated and I started watching everything, never missing a Nole match if I could help it. I was officially a Noleholic, and since then things have only gone from bad to worse, I'm now a raging Noleholic and I need a fix every day.

Let me elaborate on the last year and a half...In the beginning of last year, just days before AO started, I joined a local tennis forum for the first time in my life and I left days before the final cause I couldn't stand the Rafa fans there who trashed Nole non-stop. Then I joined another local forum where 80-90% of his members are Fed fans and I'm still there although it's not easy at times cause I feel misunderstood...But maybe I'm the problem cause I love Nole too much, you can even say I worship him, and I write about him all the time so it annoys many people who simply don't get it. Oh, and I also, for full disclosure,  write whatever I want without giving a second thought to the repucations...Since I frequently feel a strong need to give them my (not so positive) take on Federer's actions, you can probably imagine how bad it gets sometimes. I've had so many arguments, too many to count but yet I can stop...Why? I don't think I'm a hater, I think I just like to throw the truth in people's faces and I can't ignore some of the things he does, I really can't...It's stronger than me, maybe it's part of being a fanatic Nole fan or maybe it's only me, but I can't stand a player who never shows REAL respect for Nole (FAKE compliments don't count with me). Anyway, shortly after I joined that forum, I also started posting regularly on the Novak Djokovic official web-page and in September I also joined the official Novak Djokovic forum and I'm very active over there.

What kind of fan am I, you ask? Well, I'll tell you...I'm one of those really pessimistic fans who always write before and during matches (at the first sight of trouble), "He will lose, I just know it", "I have a really bad feeling about this match", etc. I drive most of my fellow Nole fans on the forum crazy with my posts because they're optimistic fans. I try to worry less and be like them but can't. I'm also afraid to jinx him so you'll never see me writing "He's going to win" even if he's serving the match with a double break cushion. I drive myself crazy too sometimes but I can't help myself, I can't censor my thoughts or my posts like I told you before, I write what I really feel 90% of the time if not 100% and I worry 100% of the time... Yes, the life of a die-hard pessimistic fan aren't easy, to say the least :)

P.S. So now you know pretty much the full story, you know the WHAT but what you may not understand and I also don't really fully understand myself, is the WHY. Why am I acting and feeling like this...Any ideas? :)